The pastorate can be a lonely profession. As pastor, we are called upon to listen in confidence to problems faced by any number of people in our world. The question comes, what happens when we need someone to perform priestly duties for us.

There was a time when people would suggest that one’s ecclesiastical superior was the logical person to peform those duties. I’m never sure that ever fully worked, but several years ago I had an experience that brought that whole approach into question.

In the midst of a clergy meeting, a District Superitendent, whom I did and still do respect cautioned us pastors in terms of the things we confided with him. He told us that anything we shared with him that could affect our appointment, he was mandated to pass on to the Bishop and other superintendents. There goes confidentiality out the window.

I think most pastors know the pitfalls of sharing our struggles with members of the congregation and the competiveness and lack of trust among clergy within our tradtion, make it hard to talk to them about our problems.

It is not surprising that many clergy keep things bottled up or dump them on the only safe place we know, our families.

There is a risk no matter which direction we go, but if my years of pastoral ministry has taught me anything, it is there is a greater risk in not sharing my burdens with someone. Yes, we can and should share our burdens to God in prayer, but we also need a human connection that can listen and empathetically walk with us through our struggles. When we deposit these frustrations inward, they always find a way of leaking out, most often in the least helpful and least productive ways. For example in being short temperered with our loved ones or in venting in front of the congregation in a self righteous manner. In either of these cases and in many more, the risk of not sharing can become greater than the risk of sharing.

I am not saying we should blindly share our souls with anyone who will listen, but in our daily lives we come across persons we know to be people of integrity and compssion. Whether they be clergy outside our tradtion or other professionals whose job it is to keep confidences, our need is for a safe place to deposit our struggles.

For several years I had a friend that was a physchiatirst. From time to time, I would consult with him on difficult pastoral care issues. There came a time when I faced a crisis in my own life, this professional friend walked with me through that crisis.

The risk of sharing is great but pales in comparison to the risk of not sharing.

Just a thought,

Bob

In one of his understated yarns, Garrison Keillor tells the story of Pastor Inkfest of Lake Wobegon’s Lutheran’s church. It is early winter and the churchs’ finance committee is meeting to finalize the new year’s budget. Things were tight and there were more needs than money and they were needing to trim some budget items.
Pastor Inkfest and his wife had been anticipating a trip the following week to the Lutheran mid-winter convention in Florida, a welcome break from the harsh Minnesota’s winter. In fact, Mrs. Inkfest had already had their trip all planned out from all the colorful Florida brochures on the dining room table.
As the finance committee proceeded, potential cuts were suggested. One person mentioned posssbily cutting the overseas mission budget, but than mentioned that there was the Inkfests trip to sunny Florida, while all the other members had to endure the frigid winter in Lake Wobegon.
There was a long period of loud silence, where pastor Inkfest sat there with every nerve constricted into a noose.  After a long period of time, the good pastor anxious to relieve tension, suggested they could cancel the Florida trip. Swiftly, one of the members said, well Pastor Inkfest if you really feel that way, and before anyone could say boo, the issue was settled and the trip cancelled.
Once again, the pastor had fell into his own trap. He went home defeated and worried about Mrs. Inkfest reaction.
For several days afterward, Mrs. Inkfest was as cold as stone and said not one word to her depressed husband.
One morning while eating breakfast the pastor saw his wife approaching him with a smile. She proceeded to put her arms around her husband and told him, how much she loved and repsected him.
After the tension was broken, Mrs. Inkfest looks into his eyes and said, “I would only ask one thing, the next time you decide to sacrifice and hang on the cross, would you at least ask me before you take me along with you”.
Keillor shows amazing insight into the stressful life of ministry. Thank you Mr. Keillor for such a gift.